This Is Not The End

As you may have noticed, recent posts on this blog have been few and far between. I miss posting regularly but there are things in my life I need to concentrate on right now - the fact that a year after moving house we still have no built in wardrobes (I was supposed to organise that) speaks volumes about how I need to start managing my time. On top of this there is now a wedding to plan (mine! WOOT!) and it also occured to me the other day that Miss T is about to turn four and I have scrapbooked as far as her birth. This was mainly due to the fact that after splitting up with her dad I couldn't bear to look at the photos (since he was in most of them) and I'm still a little sensitive about going through them. I figure though, that with her birthday coming up it's as good a place as any to start and I've bought a brand new album to begin her fourth year with. If I keep it up it means that there will only be the very first few years I will need to go back and do, eventually, when I can finally handle doing it.

As well as that, I believe my New Year's Resolution this year was to "Get Organised". Well, so far I'm failing. Not failing dismally - I've done a little organisation; but not nearly as much as I thought I'd get done by this time of the year. I really need to get cracking.

And last but not least, I need to get a bit of creativity back in my life. The scrapbooking will help, I'm sure, but I really need to be doing something that's just about me. I need to get back into the art I used to do because that part of me is really starting to feel like an empty hole.

I've been thinking too, that this blog is starting to get a bit past it's use-by-date for me. I've been a little lost this past year as to what I really wanted out of it and it occured to me that maybe it's because it's served it's purpose for me - as a stress release and way to vent when I was angry and frustrated; as a way to share my feelings when I was upset. There is still a small amount of that in my life as I think there may always be - ex's and shared custody can never mean a stress free path - but I am at a point in my life where I am now beyond wanting to concentrate on that. I want my blog to be more about me and my family and less about them and the problems they cause. I want to close the old book and start something different, something fresh and new.

I havn't made up my mind what will happen with this blog, whether I will take it down completely or let it live on - I'll be making that decision over the next few months while I take a little break from it, in the very least until next year, so I can really start concentrating on living my life before I start sharing my life with the world wide web again.

Thank you to all those that supported me through the rough times - every bit of kindness helped, no matter how small. Take care of yourselves and I'll see you soon. Much love XX

Early Morning Conversation

Me: Hey Sweetie! I'm just about to have a shower - will you stay snuggled in your bed until I come out? I'll be really quick!

Miss T: Ok Mummy!

Me: That's great! Thank you for being such a good girl - make sure you snuggle down tight - it's cold out here!

Miss T: Mumble mumble mumble.

Me: What was that?

Miss T: I said " I WON'T EVEN PICK MY NOSE WHILE YOU'RE DOING THAT."

If I Had The Cash...

1. Just Jeans skinny jeans in dark denim
2. A french manicure
3.Crabtree and Evelyn's India Hicks range
4. Sunbeam Gelatria
5. Prada sunglasses
6. A beach holiday
7. A meal cooked by a famous chef
8. A new kitchen
9. A laptop
10. An Aston Martin

What would you do if YOU had the cash?

Put A Spot Over Here And A Spot Over There...

A red spot a bit smaller than 5c piece size has appeared on Miss T's left cheek a couple of times in the last few weeks. It looks a little like eczema but considering she doesn't get that anywhere else, I'm really not sure what to think. If I cream it with Amolin and Sudocream when she comes home it's usually gone by morning.

I worked out, however that it always seems to appear after a daycare day and afternoon with her dad. I asked the ex about it the last time he brought her home with it and he hadn't even noticed. So I let daycare know to keep an eye out - a whole week went by with nothing, then last daycare day it was back again. The ex said he noticed it when he picked her up (Did he ask her teachers about it? Did he ask whether she had rubbed on suncreen or insect repellant or if she might have been playing in the gardens?? Noooooo! That might have been attempting to solve the problem himself! Apparently that's what I'm for.) and he swears black and blue that it started off next to her mouth and by the time he'd driven her to the park to play it had travelled up her cheek to it's current position (which is the exact spot it's always been in without any movement before thankyou very much. If there was no chance it was close to the truth I would have asked him if he was on drugs). He then said that Skanky(the homewrecker), (that's the ex's partner if you've forgotton - havn't had to mention her in a long time) asked if Miss T had been wormed recently because if the red mark was travelling around like that maybe it was ringworm. I literally had to stop myself from making a loopy-face and saying "Duuuuuuuuuuuuh".

I patiently explained that "ringworm" was not actually a "worm" but a fungal skin infection that is treated with a topical cream and not "worming medication" and it doesn't move. I would have thought that a woman in her forties who had already raised a child might actually know this already but then what the hell else would I expect from someone who takes chinese remedies (8 pills, 4 times a day) and then gives the empty medication bottle to my 3 year old daughter to play with (cause teaching a child that mediction bottles are great to play with is clearly a responsible thing to do.) We've yet to return to daycare to ask about it so I still don't know if it actually happened there or not. (The whole "travelling spot" story almost sounds like a distraction to keep me from realising that the spot's appearing because Miss T's been eating/in contact with something she shouldn't be at her dad's house. Which is very typical of the deception the ex likes to practice on a regular basis.) I'm guessing the daycare girls won't have a clue though, so I'll be asking them to check her face every afternoon before she leaves from now on.

Hard Day's Night

A little "work background" before I get stuck into the major rant for the day. I merchandise (and sell) for a furniture and homewares company. I originally worked in only one store but am currently being lent to another store on one of my work days to help turn it's failing sales figures around. This store has a lot of issues which are contributing to it's lack of success, only one of which has been poor past merchandising, but I won't go into them here.

So it all began when the biggest boss of all the bosses (the guy who originally started up the company, who has since sold off most of the stores as franchises and kept only a few as his own) came in to see the manager at said store. I had only just arrived and hadn't had time to discuss with said manager what furniture pieces were going out, what homewares or other furniture we had arriving that day and what had/had not been selling well since I had last been in. So while they chatted, I took a stroll around the store to check things out. The cushions (which are always a mess, does noone know how to arrange cushions neatly!? They're just cushions people!) were, yet again, a mess, so I figured it would do the least harm if I started by getting those in order. An older couple entered the store and were greeted by the manager. She and big boss made their way around the large square column in the middle of the store in the opposite direction to which older couple were travelling and as the couple were about 1/2 way into the store by now I approached them with a greeting and asked whether they were looking for anything I could help them with. No, just browsing. Great day to browse says I - and filled them in on the current sale we had going. I finished up by letting them know to ask if they needed a hand with anything or needed any pricing worked out for them and returned back to what I was doing. By this time manager and boss had just appeared around other side of column and approached desk. I meandered up to the front window to fuss with the display so I could catch older couple before they left. As I spoke to them I could see big boss watching me. I bid older couple a great day as they departed and returned to what I had originally been doing down the back of the store before moving on to rearranging some of the other stock. Big boss made to leave and with a big cheery (fake) smile said goodbye and told me to enjoy my day. Well, buckeroo, it would have been so much more enjoyable if you hadn't been in it.

Immediately upon his going the manager approached me. I already knew what was coming, cause I'm psychic like that. She said she knew I always greeted customers but big boss had commented that I hadn't said anything to older couple until they were leaving. Ah, but I had and I knew from the moment I saw him watching me that he was going to say something about it. He had not seen my initial greeting and I went into detail about what I had said. Ok - was the reply - but he says you need to be louder, more extroverted, you know, really give them something to remember! Ummmmmmmmm, so basically I should scare an older couple out of their wits just cause the big boss thinks I should be bouncing off the walls?

I recall when myself, another merchandiser and my other manager came into this store initially to help do a relayout, one thing we changed was the volume of the music being played. It was so loud we couldn't hear each other talk let alone think and we were told it was up loud because the big boss liked it that way - he thought it would create a "party atmosphere". Whatever. Maybe big and loud covers a whole lot of insecurities for him but for me happy and polite work just fine, thank you very much. Apparently big boss went on to say that he was not paying someone to "play with cushions"(yeah, thanks for making a direct referral to the one of only two things you bothered to see me do, perhaps I should have just left them looking like crap? Think they'd sell better that way?) or "do this" (mime flapping hands at nearby floral arrangement). The manager said she defended me, saying I do sell things as well but big boss retorted with "I know she's a smart girl, but is she really hitting it?!"

At this point I was livid. It's very rare for me to get that way but if the big boss had been in the store at that point I would very likely have asked him who the hell he thought he was and told him that if he did not want me to help turn the store around I would be quite happy to go back to the other store I work in (a franchise, so not his) and make the owner over there a fortune (which it has been doing, due in part to the merchandising skills of myself and another girl) while he could, quite simply, shove it.

I work so hard in that store - I don't stop the entire day. Not only do I have to remerchandise, think, plan, adjust etc etc and all that goes with it, including moving heavy furniture by myself, but I greet every customer, I not only sell but talk people into things they never knew they needed and impart as much decorating inspiration and as many ideas to the customers as I know how. I help them find the perfect gift. I tell them the stories behind our unique pieces. I help them put together concepts and keep up with current trends. I am passionate. I do this all day while other staff wander about or do computer work or chat to each other. I do this without being pushy and I know when to back off because I am a customer also and I know exactly how I don't like to be treated when I enter a store. If there was anyone the big boss needed to criticise in that store, I was the very last person it should have been.

I explained all this to the manager (who infuriatingly kept saying "I know...") and said that if the big boss was going to go on personal sales figures, mine were "silent" as because I was so busy getting the whole store (and everything else) done in a single day, I would often bring customers up to another memeber of staff who was doing not much of anything and get them to put the sale through the computer, meaning it would go under their name and not mine.

As upset as I was, I had to then paste a smile on my face and go about working as hard as I always do. I decided then and there that every sale I made verbally was going to be put through the computer by yours truly so it would be obvious what my sales figures were. Not half an hour later a guy came into the store, initally looking at $8 succulents and umming and ahhing about adding some florals to his home, not really sure what he wanted to do or which direction he wanted to go. He liked the look of some vases we had so I went from there, chatting to him about what his house and furniture was like, what look he was hoping to achieve, where he wanted to place the arrangements, what colours he was leaning towards. I did one arrangement as we chatted, adding or taking a way things depending on the information I got from him. He LOVED it. Wanted three more for another part of his house and left me to it while he went to do the groceries. The manager was watching me do the arrangments which were all quite large and came over to ask "Are you sure he's going to buy all that?" My reply - "I'm positive." The guy ended up spending almost $500 on the arrangements. After he'd left the manager gave me a big hug and said not one other staff member, including herself, could have done what I had just done. She then rang big boss and left a message to tell him about it.

Oh, and my sales figures since then? Each day I'm in I've blitzed everybody else out of the water. Hope the big boss is finding his words very tasty indeed.

A Spoon Full Of Sugar

Miss T on our impending day's activities:

"MUMMY! I'm going to have a BLOODTEST! HOORAY! It's going to be SO. MUCH. FUN!" (Leaning in close to whisper and looking very serious) "...'cause we arn't going to work or daycare today."

And after my day at work yesterday, I tend to agree that getting stuck with needles is much more appealing.

3.5

Dear Miss T,

10 Things You've Learned In The Past Few Months.

10. Most of the sounds of the letters of the alphabet. I have no idea where you are learning this from (daycare?) but they need to stop. If I seriously have to sit through another meal of you telling me about how your " ss-ss-spaghetti starts with an S and S says ssssss and in the spaghetti you can see mm-mm-mushrooms which start with and M and M says mmmmmm the same as Mum, you start with an M which says mmmmm, don't you Mum? And there's also mm-mm- meat in the ss-ss-spaghetti so that's M and S and LOOK there's tomatoes! T-T Tomatoes! They start with a T!" for a good hour while you don't eat your meal I will have to pull out a few letters of my own. These may include a P for p-p-paddywhack on your B for b-b-butt.

9. That you have a peanut allergy. This is not a fun thing to learn and I am tearing my hair out at all the products which "may include traces of nuts" and are now off limits. Subsequently the Easter Bunny is working double shift to find some nutless treats for you this Easter.

8. That Barbie dolls are AWESOME

7. That it makes Mummy go insane when, no matter how much we search, we can't find the OTHER barbie shoe.

6. That while your nailpolish colours are all pink, they are all DIFFERENT pinks and it is of the utmost importance that absolutely everybody (especially your swim teacher) needs to know whether you are wearing HOT pink, COLD pink, ICING SUGAR pink or SEASHELL pink. And they all need to know several times. Just to be sure they don't forget.

5. That when we are making gingerbread biscuits, sneaking a quick scoop of flour and ground ginger out of the bowl is not so sneaky when most of what you get is ground ginger and it tastes so awful you start wailing instantly.

5. That no matter how creative it was, no matter what good problem solving it was and no matter how much fun you had doing it, drawing on your felt people because you "couldn't see their faces" and drawing on your felt board because "there weren't any trees", was never going to go down well with your Mother.

3. That saying "I Love You Mummy!" when you are in trouble, doesn't get you out of trouble.

2. That saying "I Love You Mummy! when there appears to be nothing wrong means that Mummy instantly knows you have done something wrong and is now going to find out about it.

1. That no matter what you do, how naughty you are, or how much you drive her completely crazy, Mummy really will always love you.


Love from, the Mama.